Dear Miss Wild Cards,
I’ve noticed lately that Mick Jagger’s muzzle is getting awfully grey when he’s in lycanthrope form. Do you suppose the Stones might be looking for a younger singer sometime in the near future? I can howl at the Moon, baby, all night long.
Asking for a friend,
B.B. Wolfe
Dear B.B.,
Word on the street is Mick will not retire anytime soon, especially not by the hair on his chinny-chin-chin. It appears as if the Stones will keep going until Keith Richards shuffles off this mortal coil. Or after the Earth cools. Whichever comes first.
Dear Miss Wild Cards,
I heard there were hot joker sex scenes in the upcoming Wild Cards book. Are those rumors true?
Anxiously Yours,
- Reader
Dear A.,
It’s a Wild Cards book, what do you think? Why do I keep getting this question?
Dear Miss Wild Cards,
Who is the most powerful character in the Wild Cards universe?
Not being competitive at all,
Earth’s Mightiest Heroes
Dear EMH,
It depends on who your ask. But for my money, it’s always The Editor.
Why? You guys looking to recruit again?
Dear Miss Wild Cards,
I’d like to propose a sequel to LOW CHICAGO. It’ll be set on a boat on Lake Michigan. I call it GO FISH.
An offer you can’t refuse,
- Capone
Dear Al,
Unsolicited submissions involving puns are a never a good choice. Fuggedaboutit.
Dear Miss Wild Cards,
I’ve submitted a character for Wild Cards previously, but it wasn’t quite right for the series. I have a new character, Dream Boy, who I think might work. What is your opinion?
Hopefully Yours,
Neil G.
Dear Neil,
Perhaps you’ll have some success with him in another venue…
Dear Miss Wild Cards,
I see that the new Wild Cards book, TEXAS HOLD ‘EM, is set in San Antonio, Texas. Does any of it take place in the Alamo’s basement?
Sincerely,
P.W. Herman
Dear P.W.,
There was a lengthy section involving the basement of the Alamo with an incredible fight scene between Battle of the Alamo reenactors and several of the joker teenagers, but it had to be cut for length and something called “historical realism.”
Dear Miss Wild Cards,
I can’t help but notice that the character Ink bears a striking physical resemblance to a character in one of my favorite books. Have I been drinking too much dandelion wine or is something wicked going on?
Annoyed,
Ray B.
Dear Ray,
Accidents will happen. Sometimes the subconscious mind is a wonderful thing. Also, she hasn’t had a single instance of lions eating parents as far as we know.
Dear Miss Wild Cards,
Is there any truth to the rumors that the Amazing Bubbles got her start doing special effects for the Lawrence Welk Show?
Curiously yours,
Old A.F.
Dear Old,
Yes. But it is a time in her life she’d rather not discuss. Her memories of bouffant hair-dos and toothy smiles are just too painful.
Dear Miss Wild Cards,
I’ve lost my favorite suit of clothes! But I’ve just read about the Seamstress in KNAVES OVER QUEENS, and I’m wondering if you could tell me how to get in touch with her. I’d like to order one of her special bespoke suits — mostly blue and red, with a bit of yellow. Oh, and including a monogram, sort of a stylized “S” design. Need as soon as possible! My other clothes make me look like a nerd.
Gratefully,
- Kent
Dear C.,
This is so awkward, but you should be expecting a visit from the Silver Helix any day now. As long as you don’t get riled up, no one will get hurt.
Dear Miss Wild Cards,
How much alcohol should be consumed while creating a new Wild Cards character?
Tipsily Yours,
Newbie
Dear Noob,
All the liquor. All of it.
Dear Miss Wild Cards,
I understand that in HIGH STAKES many of the main characters get exposed to what one might describe as elder gods who are released through a rift in the time-pace continuum. I was wondering if you could tell us more about nghhhh oh the light it blindnshhgh what am I senghghsangh.
Yngh,
H.P Lnghahshghg
Dear H.P.,
Miss Wild Cards has no information on what happened on Talas. And why would you think she does? Has someone said something? And why did your email start glowing when I opened it? And, oh God . . . Oh, God . . . .Nghghasghthyh …..